Monday, September 17, 2012

A Smackdown Review (9/14/12)



First off, sorry this review is a little late. It's football season and Sunday is totally committed to as many hours of football I can cram into it. Real sports that don't mean anything is much more important than fake sports that don't mean anything to me. So once again, I apologize.

I watched Smackdown on Sunday during the Lions and 49ers game last night so my attention was torn. I think I got enough out of it though. The show was the last until Night of Champions (which I haven't seen yet, so if you say anything about it I will hunt you down and mess your sh*t up) and the first since Jerry Lawler's collapse at the announce table.

Now these two facts, for me, are conflicting. On one hand, the show must go on. I know that that is their "live" motto and they have a PPV to hype up but I just feel like they should have done a little more for/about Jerry on the first show since the incident. But we only got a #GetWellJerry image that popped up in between matches. To me, it was a misstep for the WWE. Jerry is one of the voices of the WWE and one of the reasons I like to watch Monday Night Raw. They even added in commentary over the match after Jerry collapsed in an edited Raw Recap segment on Friday. That goes completely against saying that they aren't going to do commentary for the rest of the night out of respect for Jerry. I just flat out don't like it. But I do like this:


Seriously? This is so unbelievable that it's hilarious. That's like saying, "Arnold Schwarzenegger has been freezing Republican budgets for years." Followed by this:


I just love the fact that they are using the WWE to slander Linda's image. It's complete bullshit and childish and is laughable. I don't know what she's running for or how she's doing but I'm voting for her if I can. And now I understand why Vince fired A.W. for mentioning Linda in a tweet. The real world can't handle the fake world of the WWE. It's life imitating "art". And by art I mean this:


I think I hit my video quota for the day already. Too bad. I had a new cat video I wanted to share with you all. Oh well, I'll just save it for next week.

Okay, now I guess I actually start talking about the show. For starters, I can't help but smile ear to ear when the show opens with 2 out of the 3 people in the ring wearing neck braces. It's hilarious and I hope that next Smackdown after Sheamus beats the crap out of Del Rio, Otunga, Rodrigez and Del Rio are all in the ring with neck braces. But the odd thing was when Daniel Bryan came out. Yes I know he was a victim of the Brogue Kick at Wrestlemania but DB isn't part of the title picture right now. In fact, he doesn't need to be. His anger management story line with Kane is borderline brilliant. Daniel Bryan's stock is still on the rise and can float around Smackdown and Raw without being in title contention to be very relevant. To me, that's what makes a TRUE superstar. Say what you want about Cena, the guy doesn't need a belt to get the biggest matches of the year. But with DB coming out to put his two cents into the Brogue Kick conversation just felt off to me.

They should have just cut the segment down and given more time to Kane and Bryan in anger management with their coach. I mean, I don't often laugh out loud during a WWE show unless the Rock is there or Sincara is botching another move or Lord Tensai wrestles, but I actually laughed out loud when Kane and Bryan were squeezing the stress balls and discussing whose was bigger. That shit had me going and proves that the Kane and Bryan love-hate relationship is magic and I pray to god they beat the pants off of Kofi and R-Truth. I mean, Kane totally trounced the guy on Friday and pinned him with Daniel Bryan. He could single handily take out everyone in the ring, so why wouldn't they win?

Again, if you think about commenting on who won, I'll kill you're dog.

 No not that one.

 That one.

Anyway, I couldn't be bothered to watch the Miz lose to Sincara which would never happen in real life. The botch king himself probably can't even tie his shoes let alone have a decent match on Smackdown. I just don't know what they are planning. The Miz losing is a big deal and Sincara doesn't deserve it. And anyone walking up to the Intercontinental champ saying they deserve a title shot doesn't deserve it either. Unless they are Cody Rhodes. It's good to see Cody calling the belt his because at one point it was synonymous with his name. I would love a Rhodes/Miz feud over the belt while they both wait for their moment. These guys are the future of the company and deserve to be in the spotlight. They have fought to stay relevant and I applaud that. It's tough when there is nothing for you to do but they make the most of it. F*ck you, Sincara.

The Divas match was fine and I think Kaitlyn is smoking hot. That's all I have to say about the Divas division.

I just can't write about the Divas when Kaitlyn is literally looking to the crowd and shouting "Come on!" to try and get them into it. It will never happen, baby. If you want us into it, bring back bra and panties matches!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AMERICA!!!!

I wish I knew more about Cesaro or that they would show him wrestle more often because I think I would really like the guy, but I don't like how they are using him.And now with Tyson Kidd and Brodus Clay in the picture, I doubt he will hold the belt for long. I like Tyson Kidd and when he almost won at Money in the Bank shows that he is up and coming. I wouldn't be surprised if the belt wasn't his within a year.

He also reminds me of someone...




I could be off on this but Tyson Kidd reminds me of Johnny Rico. RICO'S ROUGH-NECKS HOOOORRAAAH!! Wait, what happened? I blacked out. Did I just quote Starship Troopers?

Smackdown cut away to a Raw Recap for the last third of the show it felt. They replayed the last segment from Monday in it's entirety which was like a full 25-30 minutes. Now, what the hell is happening live at the arena that they can cut away from the ring for that long? A Heath Slater jam session? It was annoying and took away quality time from Smackdown that could have been used for the incredible Sheamus/Daniel Bryan match that I wish would never end.

Sheamus and DB are two of the hardest working guys on the roster. We were screwed out of a Wrestlemania match but with gifted the amazing Extreme Rules match on the next PPV. I just wish we saw they two in the ring together more. You would think that their size difference would prohibit a decent match but somehow it just works. They know each other and they just get it to our benefit.

But Daniel Bryan tapped out?


No....No..No! No!! NO! NO!! NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! NO!!!

I wish the WHAT chant came back for just that moment when DB tapped so that everyone in the arena could shout it in unison. I just don't like it. It discredits his character who built himself on the ability to make other people tap. If they were looking for someone to make Sheamus look unstoppable they could have used someone else. I just feel this kills DB's momentum. But to go back to my earlier point, the guy is a super star and can weather this much better than anyone on the roster could so I can sort of see it making sense. I just don't like it. And if I don't like it, America doesn't like it!

RICO'S ROUGH-NECKS!!!! HOOOOORRRAAHHHH!!!!!


Comment! And follow me on Twitter @kevinschwoer @machineofthefuture

1 comment:

  1. Wrestling is like a pop-culture touchstone. It is wonderful and glee-inducing how many wonderful references we can make! haha. Great blog dude. I will touch on Night of Champs briefly in my RAW review but will alert you to spoilers beforehand, so you won't have to end me. The Machine!

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