Tuesday, November 6, 2012


I'm an idiot.

I've been a little lax with my writing lately. Keeping up with a weekly Friday night show has been much harder than I originally anticipated since I seem to go out and put copious amounts of alcohol in my body on those nights. And when I don't, we get hit by a hurricane. So there is no winning and when there is no winning, you all, the Machineheads (just thought of it. What do you think? Is is taken already?) lose.

So instead of trying to recap the latest episode of Smackdown, this will be more of a commentary on the WWE at large plus a bit of the Blue Brand.

*Quick side-note before we begin. I watch WARRIOR over the weekend. If you are a wrestling fan, boxing fan, MMA fan or just a fan of dudes punching other dudes and you like crying, do yourself a favor and see it. I know I'm late to the game on this one, but Jesus....

Nothing is scarier than this picture. Well, maybe this.

Okay, here we go. I won't spoil Hell in a Cell in case you haven't seen it but it was just okay. A few good matches from those that we know would put on good matches and then the WWE shoving Ryback down our throat. Now, whenever they shove a guy down our throat (that's what she said) fans don't respond too well i.e. John Cena. Now I'm not saying that Ryback is bad at wrestling (though I don't think he's very good - yet/ever) but the fact that he has risen past those on the roster that have worked their tales off to get better each week just because he drinks stem cells for breakfast and can bench press the sun, doesn't give him my vote. In fact, I can't stand him because of it. I think that the WWE mistakenly thinks that people chant "Feed me more" because they like Ryback, but really it's because they are mostly mindless idiots like me who will chant anything anyone says because I can't think for myself. OR maybe they are just hungry because the food outside is overpriced and they didn't want to splurge for two $9 hotdogs and a fountain drink.

But with the rise of Ryback, the WWE has effectively decimated the roster. Where once the Miz was fighting Cena and winning the WWE belt, Ryback now destroyed him. Does that mean Ryback would pown Cena? When big names drop to Ryback it only hurts their brand and the WWE as a whole. The only way to rectify this would to have Mason Ryan come out and rip Rybacks traps off and beat him to death with them. And then eat the first four rows.
I just feel like this decline in the WWE's programming/story started when Ryback came into the picture. It's like Vince stopped the writers from coming up with any other storyline and just thought of ways they can stick a rocket up Ryback's ass and shoot him to the moon.

I mean, I can't REALLY complain about this lack of entertainment because it has lead to the best thing to happen in the WWE since this:

*As another side-note. The file name for the picture was Hand Young. That's top funny.

What I was getting at is that Kane and Daniel Bryan have created something so entertaining and good for the company during a time of mediocrity. They have brought the tag-team division back to power and it couldn't be any better at the moment. On Friday we got to see the Prime Time Players come in and show they stuff. I was sad originally when their run was sideswiped by Team Hell No but it seems like they are in the mix just enough.

And it is definitely good to see that Wade Barrett is back fighting Randy Orton and not just some jobber. Before his injury, Barrett and Orton had a great feud going on and it was sadly put on hold when Wade's elbow fell off his arm. They had a pretty good match on Friday, I just wish Del Rio would go somewhere and die. His feud with Randy has been so forced that it makes me sick. He can't even pronounce Apex Predator.

Yeah, Del Rio and Big Show should just hop in a van laced with C4 and let the fireworks fly. Though, I doubt that would kill Big Show. Instead, let's have Del Rio and Big Show tandem hand gliding in the Alps but the Great Khali flies in a hot air balloon laced with nukes and collides with them, erasing all knowledge of any of their existences. That sentence is the worst sentence I have ever written. And I mean grammatically, not bad as in evil.

I seriously am so over the Big Show it's not even funny. And now the Great Khali is back. This is the end of days. The other thing about Big Show being around that is good, is that Sheamus can be unleashed from the boring baby face that we have been having to watch for the past forever. The end of Smackdown could be a bit misleading but I have a feeling we are going to get back the Sheamus that likes to intimidate and threat to kick some teet' down some trotes' all while enjoying a nice pint.

A pint of what exactly? 55 spf suncreen?

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