The Unreality of the WWE: A 2014 Royal Rumble Review

 

Three! Two! One!

FEED. ME. MORE.

The spoon fed catchphrase issues forth as the 26th entrant in the 2014 Royal Rumble comes barreling down the entrance ramp, shirt exploding as he enters the ring. A year removed from being one of the last men standing in the Royal Rumble with the full support of the crowd to beat John Cena for a chance to headline Wrestlemania, Ryback now induced an arena-wide cringe. Though Ryback has fallen from grace in the eyes of the fans and the WWE, the anxiety that his entrance brought was due to the fact that only four more entrants were left and there was no sight of the most over superstar on the WWE roster.

Daniel Bryan.

Fandango: The Rise and Fall of Curtis Jonathan Hussey

I'm calling it: if and when the WWE makes the Fandango DVD it will be 15 minutes long.

The first seven minutes would be a montage of the numerous times that "we almost got to see the debut of FAN-DAN-GO", the next two minutes would be "highlights" from the his Wrestlemania 29 match with Jericho, the following three minutes would be the post-Mania Raw crowd singing the his theme song, and the last three minutes will be credits.

The return of Johnny Curtis has been a strange one. One that showcases how far out of touch the WWE is from their fan base as well as the times. After what felt like dog years of promo vignettes of this new dancing superstar, the WWE Universe was finally granted the opportunity to witness the birth of a new "wrestling" sensation, Fandango.What first felt like the WWE cramming another dancer into their ranks to take the hard earned cash of kids and their parents, has somehow become something much more than just a wrestler and a gimmick. The very response Jerry was forced to give a few Raws ago on the new "sensation" called Fandangoing shows just how much more Fandango represents than the WWE ever intended.

WrestleMania 29 Rumors and Matches

I've been on an extended hiatus when it comes to my weekly Smackdown reviews because quite frankly, I haven't been watching them. I've been catching up a week late on Hulu+ (which is a god send when it comes to the WWE. 5 hours of wrastling condensed into two 90 minute shows, yes please!)

So a lot has happened in recent weeks including the Elimination Chamber PPV. Rumors have been swirling, names have been dropped, and the location of WrestleMania 30 has been revealed. Yes, a lot has happened, but also a lot hasn't happened. Dolph is still holding the MITB briefcase, Del Rio is still World Heavyweight Champion, and the Undertaker hasn't made his annual return which has left us speculating as to what the final card will look like.

The Academy Awards is Like the WWE

Months ago, Grantland featured an article written by the legendary Masked Man about the similarities in the WWE and the NBA. It's brilliant for basketball and WWE fans. And if you are a fan of both, then it's truly incredible. You can read it here: http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7861414/david-stern-vince-mcmahon-lebron-james-john-cena-wwe-guide-nba.

The Masked Man's article, took players from the NBA and compared them against their WWE counterpart. Lebron James was John Cena, Dwayne Wade was CM Punk and David Stern was Vince McMahon. It was a truly incredible and fresh angle to look at both sports and how they aren't as different as we might think. Now with the awards season upon us, I started getting all cynical about the award shows aka popularity contests that Hollywood throws. And I couldn't help but see similarities in the WWE and the entertainment world. It could be that I watch waaaaay too much wrestling and my brain can't switch it off or maybe it's that the WWE really isn't that different from our lives as we think. That sentence sounds crazy I know but hang with me.

A LATE SMACKDOWN REVIEW - (11/2/12)

I'm an idiot.

A SMACKDOWN REVIEW - (10/19/12)

First off, I must apologize for my hiatus when it comes to my Smackdown reviews. New York Comic Con was two weeks ago and prior to that I was planning New York Comic Con for two weeks so all my Machine blogging took a hit. But if I said that Ryback's explosive rise on Raw and the Three Man Band's emergence on Smackdown has kept me in my room, cowering in the corner with a shotgun, waiting for the end of days, I think you would believe me.

A Smackdown Review - (9/21/12)

While watching modern wrestling, I often like to think of the future. I like to think about what the modern roster’s DVD biographies will be like, if they will even have any. I would like to think that when it’s all said and done that Cena, CM Punk, The Miz, Cody Rhodes, Dolph Ziggler, and Daniel Bryan will all have their own DVDs, just to name a few. Now maybe not all of them will have a biography but I have a feeling many if not all of the ones I mentioned will.

A Smackdown Review (9/7/12)

So here we are, my first Smackdown review ever. We all know that the blue brand doesn't get much love nowadays (did it ever?) and it's especially sad due to the fact that it is in some ways, better than it's big, 3 hour long brother, Raw. *For a complete week of Future Machine wrestling goodness read A RAW REVIEW by the undisputed TK (http://thefuturemachine.blogspot.com/2012/09/a-raw-review-9312.html) it's very good and probably much better than this review. S you should probably stop reading now. Continue on at your own risk.