THERAPY WITH BATMAN - LISTENING

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THERAPY WITH BATMAN: RESPECT

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THERAPY WITH BATMAN: FATHERS

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Therapy With Batman (10/18/2013)

Therapy With Batman (10/16/13)

Courtesy of Our Friends at The Great Mambino

(The news for weeks is that Derrick Rose, All-Star and 2011 NBA MVP of the Chicago Bulls, has been playing full throttle after a year-long recovery from a torn ACL. However, his return for the 2012-2013 season has all been squashed; he told Turner Sports this week that his “muscle memory” isn’t getting his body to respond correctly. This all might be a moot point–the Bulls might be competing in their last game of the year tonight, a Game 7 against the Nets in Brooklyn.

To say that Chicago is banged up is an understatement. In addition to Rose, the team won’t have Luol Deng tonight, whose flu infection got him hospitalized not just once, but twice this past week. Rose fill-in PG Kirk Hinrich is questionable with a badly bruised calf, while his fill-in Nate Robinson was reportedly throwing up on the sidelines from illness during Game 6. Center Joakim Noah is suffering from a case of plantar fascitiis that has him playing at around 60-70%. His bench counterpart Taj Gibson is the third Bull to fall to the flu, and barely made the call for Game 6.

With his team almost paralyzed with injury, many have asked that if Derrick Rose is going all-out in practice, shouldn’t he be playing in his team’s most crucial game of the year?

Not having any practical experience in competitive basketball, we went straight to our man El Mariachi, whose teenage years were wrought with knee injuries of every kind. Take it away, bru–should Derrick Rose be playing tonight?)

Every injury a basketball player sustains throughout their career forever affects and changes the way they play the game. Basketball, like most other sports, is about millions of different micro-calculations made by your body every nanosecond. Hand eye coordination, vision, strength, balance, and awareness all while under physical and sometimes psychological distress, take their toll on a player’s body and mind from the jump ball to the final buzzer. Add on top of that an aching heel, weak knee, sore shoulder, or even illness, the body will adapt like the amazing creation it is. And whether it’s subconsciously or deliberate, the body of a player will always over compensate even in the smallest sense of the word.

In my young basketball career I was diagnosed with osteochondritis dissecans, a degenerative bone condition that took me out of the game for two years. Four surgeries, 10 months on crutches and countless hours of physical therapy later, I was back on the court. But it never was the same.

You can read the rest here http://thegreatmambino.com/to-play-game-7-or-not-defending-derrick-rose-sort-of/

Who Cares that David Hayter is Not Voicing Snake in MGS 5

Over the past several months more and more information regarding the next installment in the Metal Gear Solid franchise has arisen. It started with the amazing Ground Zeroes trailer, then the mysterious Phantom Pain trailer, culminating in the official announcement of Metal Gear Solid 5 at GDC 2013 (Game Developers Conference). The whirlwind of speculation, typical of Hideo Kojima games, surrounded these various press releases and trailer reveals, often making huge waves across the internet. But no announcement made more of a stink than the news that David Hayter will not be reprising his role as Snake in the upcoming game.

Now, Hideo Kojima is infamous for throwing marketing curve balls our way. The very fact that he created a fake video game company and had a fake interview with its fake CEO on G4 just to hide the fact that a new Metal Gear Solid game was coming shows you how sick this guy is. I say that with love. For all we know, David Hayter may have been asked to act like he is not in the game just to throw us all off the scent but who knows.I mean, he made trailers for Metal Gear Solid 2 with fake footage of Solid Snake throughout the game when in fact it would be Rayden that you play as in those parts that were shown. All I'm saying is the guy loves to f*@k with us.

But what if he isn't this time around? What would a Metal Gear Solid game be like without David? Would it really matter?

Fandango: The Rise and Fall of Curtis Jonathan Hussey

I'm calling it: if and when the WWE makes the Fandango DVD it will be 15 minutes long.

The first seven minutes would be a montage of the numerous times that "we almost got to see the debut of FAN-DAN-GO", the next two minutes would be "highlights" from the his Wrestlemania 29 match with Jericho, the following three minutes would be the post-Mania Raw crowd singing the his theme song, and the last three minutes will be credits.

The return of Johnny Curtis has been a strange one. One that showcases how far out of touch the WWE is from their fan base as well as the times. After what felt like dog years of promo vignettes of this new dancing superstar, the WWE Universe was finally granted the opportunity to witness the birth of a new "wrestling" sensation, Fandango.What first felt like the WWE cramming another dancer into their ranks to take the hard earned cash of kids and their parents, has somehow become something much more than just a wrestler and a gimmick. The very response Jerry was forced to give a few Raws ago on the new "sensation" called Fandangoing shows just how much more Fandango represents than the WWE ever intended.

THE VALUE OF TETRIS

I've been playing a lot of Tetris lately, for free, on the Tetris website.

CLICK ON THIS TO SKILLFULLY WASTE TIME

I have loved Tetris ever since I was very little.  I cannot remember the first time I played it - I was probably three or four.  It is a game that has seemingly been present throughout my existence, its simplistic and immediately recognizable shapes always filling me with happiness (and a little bit of enjoyable dread) when I see them.

WrestleMania 29 Rumors and Matches

I've been on an extended hiatus when it comes to my weekly Smackdown reviews because quite frankly, I haven't been watching them. I've been catching up a week late on Hulu+ (which is a god send when it comes to the WWE. 5 hours of wrastling condensed into two 90 minute shows, yes please!)

So a lot has happened in recent weeks including the Elimination Chamber PPV. Rumors have been swirling, names have been dropped, and the location of WrestleMania 30 has been revealed. Yes, a lot has happened, but also a lot hasn't happened. Dolph is still holding the MITB briefcase, Del Rio is still World Heavyweight Champion, and the Undertaker hasn't made his annual return which has left us speculating as to what the final card will look like.

Courtesy of our friends at The Great Mambino

Is Chip Kelly a Good Fit For the Philadelphia Eagles?

(In a shocker, Oregon Ducks football coach Chip Kelly became ex-Oregon Ducks football coach this afternoon, as he signed a deal with the Philadelphia Eagles. Kelly had been courted by several NFL teams, but seemed to be going back to Eugene after some sources reported he had signed with the Cleveland Browns just two weeks ago. Our man and foolish Eagles faithful El Mariachi had no choice but to comment on his potentially history-making day)

It is common knowledge that the Philadelphia fan base is a notoriously tough crowd when it comes to sports. But when you look past all the bad press that they get you can see deep down in the cavities of their chests that there is a tiny, Kelly-green Grinch- heart three sizes too small. They are arguably the most passionate fan base in all of sports and they are usually the most critical. Which made the 2012 season all the more painful.

To say the least, it was a sad year. Beginning with the tragic death of Andy Reid’s son, the culmination of a 4-12 season, and the inevitable firing of Reid, ending a twelve year long witch hunt. Add everything up, and this made the Eagles one of the unprecedented seven teams that needed a head coach entering the 2012 postseason.

After a grueling process of interviewing over 11 candidates, it was reported today that Oregon head coach Chip Kelly will be the new boss of the Philadelphia Eagles. Ask any fan and they’ll tell you that any change is for the better...but is it really?

Chip Kelly is best known for his high octane offensive style. His no huddle offense is reminiscent of the Patriots, Redskins, and the Colts during the Manning era. Almost always starting in shotgun, Kelly uses the spread offense with 3, 4 or even 5 receiver sets. In theory this spreads the defense dangerously thin which opens up not only the run game, but the read-option for the quarterbacks. This is best run by someone mobile like Cam Newton, RGIII, Colin Kaepernick, or interestingly, a young Michael Vick. The Eagles might have Nick Foles running the show next year, which is a problem in itself. It's not that Foles isn't capable--it's that he's unproven with such a small sample size of games. Regardless of who's throwing the ball, this offensive is devastating when implemented correctly with the right personnel and it led Chip Kelly to an astounding 46-7 record in only a four year span at Oregon.

You can read the rest of the article here: http://thegreatmambino.blogspot.com/2013/01/is-chip-kelly-good-fit-for-philadelphia.html

The Academy Awards is Like the WWE

Months ago, Grantland featured an article written by the legendary Masked Man about the similarities in the WWE and the NBA. It's brilliant for basketball and WWE fans. And if you are a fan of both, then it's truly incredible. You can read it here: http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7861414/david-stern-vince-mcmahon-lebron-james-john-cena-wwe-guide-nba.

The Masked Man's article, took players from the NBA and compared them against their WWE counterpart. Lebron James was John Cena, Dwayne Wade was CM Punk and David Stern was Vince McMahon. It was a truly incredible and fresh angle to look at both sports and how they aren't as different as we might think. Now with the awards season upon us, I started getting all cynical about the award shows aka popularity contests that Hollywood throws. And I couldn't help but see similarities in the WWE and the entertainment world. It could be that I watch waaaaay too much wrestling and my brain can't switch it off or maybe it's that the WWE really isn't that different from our lives as we think. That sentence sounds crazy I know but hang with me.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Review

For every generation of movie-goers, there is a certain cinematic experience/event that defines their era on the silver screen. For some it was Citizen Kane, others it was Star Wars, more recently it was The Matrix, for people my age it was The Lord of the Rings, and now you could say Avatar for the current gen. These movies tie directly into our lives and will always have a special place in our hearts.

For me, The Lord of the Rings trilogy defined a large chunk of my life. I lived and breathed Middle-Earth and I will always cherish the films beyond all others. And now of course The Hobbit is coming out, which has rekindled the embers of my beloved experience. So please, keep in mind that this review is highly biased and full of love and passion.

5 Things From The Hobbit That Will Be Left Out Of The Movie

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy did many things for the film industry. From state of the art special effects, to unprecedented behind the scene access, to groundbreaking extended cuts that the fans demanded, the Lord of the Rings opened up an entire new world to Hollywood, one that would strengthen the bond between fans and studios by giving them what they want, but also by padding the pockets of the studios with well earned money.

But the most special thing that the Lord of the Rings created was that it gave a new generation of movie goers, and fanboys alike, their "Star Wars". It would define a generation and give them something that was forever, completely their own.

Spelunky Review (XBLA)

The thrill of every adventure is an unexpected ending. Whether you’re scaling a mountain in Nepal or searching for a Starbucks on your smart phone in Manhattan, the potential conclusions to your quest are always infinite.

Often in video games, we’re limited to a set path envisioned years earlier by a game developer. Even in most open-world games, you can only stray from the main quest for so long before needing to snap back to the pre-written story in order to advance the narrative. Spelunky eradicates this cliché with a bullet to the face while concurrently being the unrivaled Best Indie Video Game of 2012.

NBA Coaches That Look Like Celebrities

Recently I did a post about professional athletes that look like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I had so much fun writing it that I have found another boundary breaking, trans-medium dimensional comparison about NBA coaches that look like celebrities. Please read and enjoy!

A LATE SMACKDOWN REVIEW - (11/2/12)

I'm an idiot.

A SMACKDOWN REVIEW - (10/19/12)

First off, I must apologize for my hiatus when it comes to my Smackdown reviews. New York Comic Con was two weeks ago and prior to that I was planning New York Comic Con for two weeks so all my Machine blogging took a hit. But if I said that Ryback's explosive rise on Raw and the Three Man Band's emergence on Smackdown has kept me in my room, cowering in the corner with a shotgun, waiting for the end of days, I think you would believe me.

Top 5 Funniest Movie Dubs for TV

If there is anything better than bad action movies, it's when they are re-edited and dubbed for TV. We all know that a good action movie has machine gun clips full of swear words and grenade impact like vulgarity. So I give credit to the poor suckers who are sanctioned to put the editing bandage over a wounded film. And I use the term film loosely mind you. Now the thing I do not understand is their choice of dubbed dialogue last makes it's way on to syndicated television.

Athletes That Look Like Ninja Turtles

First off, I hope that none of the millions of professional athletes that frequent the Machine daily take offense to this post. I write this out of the necessity to say what we are all thinking when we look at your faces on TV. I apologize if you have made the list but I'm sure if you're on the list, your parents have apologized many times over for birthing you with the face of an animatronic, mutant-humanoid teenager turtle. It would be better if they bequeathed some sort of ninja skills but I assume having the athletic prowess to play at the highest level of your respective sport makes at least a small difference. So, with that being said, here we go!